An Author's Discretion
by Ethelwyn
Summary: We all know what happens when two hot guys, are stuck all alone, in a place with nothing to do, where no one can see them, for some shady concocted reason. Crack-Fic starring Byakuya and Kenpachi, rated M for Lemon.


**An Author's Discretion**

**Rated M**

We all know what happens when two hot guys, are stuck all alone, in a place with nothing to do, where no one can see them, for some shady concocted reason. Crack-Fic starring Byakuya and Kenpachi, rated M for Lemon.

**Warnings:** This is Yaoi, meaning man on man action, don't like, don't read. Also this is crack, so please don't take it too seriously, it's Byakuya's job to do that ;)

**Disclaimer: **All credits for the characters and the wonderful worlds they act in go to Tite Kubo. I'm just borrowing them for a little bit of filthy fun!

I dedicate this story to AdaraLove. Without her, this totally crazy idea never would have been written down. Also she was kind enough to beta on this one, too. So if the two of us actually overlooked a mistake, You, dear reader, may keep it. Adopt a mistake, they're cute and cuddly! Some even can be trained to return again, and again! ;)

Now I hope you have fun, and if you do, please review, so I might feel good enough to do a follow up.

* * *

><p><strong>An Author's Discretion<strong>

Only a minute tightening of his lips and almost imperceptible raising of a brow betrayed Kuchiki Byakuya's annoyance when he heard it.

„They haven't even facilitated the connection to Soul Society yet."

Zaraki Kenpachi stopped in his tracks.

„How troublesome."

Leisurely he scratched his neck as he turned to Byakuya.

„So, what do we do now, huh, Kuchiki?"

They were in the transit corridor between two Senkaimon, ready to enter the Real World to escort their most likely very reluctant subordinates back to Soul Society. But since their respective squad-members had not heard their orders yet, so as yet had to try to rebel against them, the two Taichou were now caught here, forced to wait patiently for their impeccably timed, awesome, fear-inspiring entrance.

Byakuya was following the flight of their Hell Butterflies with his eyes. It was the only thing to do around here. Except for engaging in interaction with his fellow Taichou, which he knew would only turn out badly for him. But the other man just had to talk to him, didn't he? Byakuya's deeply ingrained manners would not allow him to ignore Kenpachi outright.

"Do you really not know, Kenpachi? We are two hot guys, stuck all alone, in a place with nothing to do, where no one can see us, for some shady concocted reason. This is what they call a 'Plot-What-Plot?-Yaoi-Fan-Fiction' and we find ourselves right in the middle of it."

Actually, there was only one thing Kenpachi really heard of Byakuya's enlightened explanation, and he was grinning quite madly because of it.

"So, you think I'm hot, huh, Kuchiki?"

"No, I do not,_ usually._ I despise your lacking manners. I detest your barbaric behavior. I feel only contempt for someone with such miserably failing control of his own Reiatsu. I don't even care for men in _that_ way. I would really much rather find myself in this situation with Rukia or Yoruichi or even Matsumoto, though her big ra... raucous temperament can be quite intimidating.

_But, _my usual tastes do not apply and my wishes do not seem to be granted, as you are still standing right in front of me. I find myself at the mercy of the author."

While Byakuya's brows were now drawn together in a really emotional show of annoyance, Kenpachi's grin was even wider.

"So, you think I'm hot, huh, Kuchiki?" He asked again.

"For the sake and duration of this story, I find myself forced to say: Yes. Yes, I do."

Resigned to his fate, and not daring to think about how his ancestor's spirits would look upon this unfortunate turn of events, he sighed.

"That's good."

Kenpachi now closed the distance between them, wrapping one arm around Byakuya's middle, pulling him close. They had just the perfect height difference, where he could tug that cute head under his chin and lift up his face to kiss him.

"I always thought you looked kind of cute with your sweet hair-clips, little Hime," Kenpachi rasped as he stroked Byakuya's black, silky tresses.

Being drawn into an embrace by this big, barbaric ape did not seem to be embarrassing enough, because Byakuya actually found his own arms wrapping around the man in return. But his forced cooperation only went so far.

"I'm not _cute_... they are my _Kensaikan_... and I'm definitely not a _GIRL_!"

Too much, was just too much. Even though they might feel differently, authors were not Gods. They might have some discretion, but there _were_ boundaries to that as well. Well, there should be. Had to be. Kuchiki Byakuya, 28th Head of the Kuchiki family, Gotei 13's 6th Division Captain would show them! Right here. Right now. With an enormous effort he wrenched himself out of Kenpachi's grasp, jumping back to get some room, and drew his Zanpakutou. If he could draw that warmongering ape into a fight, then surely the author would just give up, and this whole regrettable affair could be buried and forgotten.

To his relief, Kenpachi was laughing like he had the time of his life. His Reiatsu flared, flooding the whole corridor in golden light and almost flattening the Hell Butterflies in the process.

"If that's the way you prefer to play, little Hime, I'm all game!"

Grinning madly, Kenpachi drew his own sword and jumped forward, engaging Byakuya in battle. The clanging of their Zanpakutou's clashing again and again in furious onslaught soon filled the void, accompanied by the satisfied laughter of Zaraki Kenpachi. There was just nothing more exciting than a good fight to him.

"This is fun! We should do this more often!"

Their clashing swords were spurting sparks. Byakuya was panting slightly. Even though he liked to deny it, Kenpachi held his rank and title for a good reason. Even without strategy and formal education he was as formidable an opponent as they came. It was his sheer strength and determination, that made up for any lack in finesse. Using Shunpo, Byakuya tried to get at the man from every angle. It was a well-known fact, that Kenpachi had absolutely no skill in the Kidou-arts whatsoever. He couldn't even use the Flash-steps. However, Byakuya grudgingly had to admit, he made up for it in some other way that had to stem from his strength. Even though he popped in and out of Kenpachi's view, the man was able to counter every strike, even getting behind him somehow, once or twice.

"Stop playing hide and go seek, Hime, will ya? It bores me just outta my mind. Come at me like ya mean it, or I'll come and get you!"

His words were accompanied by a menacing laugh that made it clear to Byakuya that his plan to change the theme of the story had not quite worked out so far. He had to keep Kenpachi as far from him as possible. With another flash-step, he got enough distance between them. Holding up his Zanpakutou, he released it.

"Scatter, Senbonzakura."

From the tip on downwards, the blade disintegrated into thousands of razor-sharp shards that glinted with a slightly pink reflection. The deadly blades flew forth in a cloud, guided by unseen winds of Reiatsu, reminiscent of a mist of cherry blossom leaves borne on a gust of summer breeze.

"Haha! Now you're settin' the right mood, there!"

After all, cherry blossoms were a metaphor for love. Byakuya intended to show Kenpachi his _love_, alright! Using his intention alone, the noble man directed the cloud of blades at his opponent. The bigger fighter was enveloped in a churning ball of deadly pink.

Quite self-satisfied, Byakuya was sure the whole thing was over, until golden rays pierced the pink ball. A mighty explosion shook the corridor, sending the blades flying in the noble man's direction. All his Senbonzakura had achieved, it seemed, was getting Kenpachi's cloths so torn up, he was practically naked. As his gaze roamed over the other man, Byakuya registered that not even a tiny cut was anywhere to be seen on his muscular, steel-hard body, and even though he tried, he just couldn't wrench his eyes off the man, especially when they reached the nether regions to appreciate not only Kenpachi's Reiatsu and Zanpakutou were oversized.

Thusly distracted, Byakuya did not realize fast enough his own blades turning against him. Which was something usually, utterly impossible. Usually. When his own cloths were torn in all the _right_ places by his own traitorous sword, he found himself thinking about his fresh discovery about his peer. As there seemed to be no escaping it anyway, he might as well just... enjoy this.

"Hmm, Hime, you look just good enough to eat," Kenpachi rasped as he approached him.

"Don't call me that. I do not call you a pirate because of your eye-patch either."

Lifting Byakuya's chin with finger and thumb, the bigger man looked down with his uncovered eye into those steely gray eyes. Though the man had resigned himself to his fate, he was still proud, still standing tall. Kenpachi grinned happily.

"Right, Kuchiki. Ain't nothing girly about you really, except those cute hair-clips..."

"They're my _Ken_..."

Any form of further protest was smothered in a searing kiss that had Byakuya's toes curling. Again he found his arms snaking about Kenpachi's form. This time though, they did it of their own volition, his fingers feeling the innumerable scars on that strong, muscular body. With the same overwhelming force with which he fought, Kenpachi ravished his mouth, leaving the noble man panting for air.

He felt himself enveloped in golden Reiatsu, like the fight-loving man really wanted to devour him. Almost any other man might have dropped to his knees, smothered and choked by the overwhelming force. To Byakuya it felt as if Kenpachi tried to touch him everywhere at once, learning his body inside out. It left him tingling with need, burning with lust. He was moaning and stretching his neck, as the bigger man licked and bit him there.

"Don't... don't drool on my... _ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu,_" he panted.

„Huh?"

Kenpachi didn't know what the hell Byakuya was rambling on about, nor did he know how the man was able to blubber that gibberish out while he was doing his best to eat that cutie alive.

"My shawl! Don't drool on my shawl!" Byakuya clarified.

"Ah. Why didn't ya just say so."

With a flick to the fabric, Kenpachi had freed the neck on one side, the shawl falling to the other, trailing longer. Again he attacked the neck, sucking and biting. Freed from distracting thoughts of his precious heirloom getting dirty, Byakuya surrendered to the sweet onslaught, moaning wantonly, his fingers digging into Kenpachi's back. He was shivering by the time the bigger man's hands started roaming over his body, his own hands begining to map the scar covered fighter's chest.

"Hmm, Kuchiki, ya're so easily excited. Always suspected ya were a wild one..."

Two big, strong hands gripped Byakuya's bared ass cheeks, kneading their perfectly round form, eliciting almost purring sounds from the noble man.

"For someone who doesn't care for men in _that_ way, ya sure sound interested 'nough, Kuchiki."

"I don't and I'm not!" The noble man hissed his rage at his situation and the other man's teasing as he tried to break the spell he was under.

With a fierce growl, Byakuya scratched across Kenpachi's chest, leaving angry red welts that began to bleed, as answer to the man's audacity. Said man now caught the noble man's wrists and spinning him around, slammed him against the corridor wall.

"Now, now, you're a feisty little wild cat, Kuchiki. But ya should know, blood only gets me more excited," he explained in his raspy voice right next to Byakuya's ear, pressing the rock-hard evidence of his excitement into his backside. "Keepin' those claws secured 's jus' for your own good."

With one, big hand, he had no trouble pinning both Byakuya's wrists above his head. A rage-filled growl from the noble man soon dropped to a low moan, as Kenpachi rubbed and twirled one of his nipples. Grinning he once again sucked and nibbled at the neck.

Byakuya just couldn't help himself. Sounds of yearning and need escaped his lips, at these viciously delicious attacks. He arched his back, straining for more ministrations from Kenpachi's skilled hand, inadvertently shoving his ass right into the man. This time it was the fight loving man, who growled deep in his throat in his excitement. His hand slid over the ripped cloths deeper, to wrap around Byakuya's half-hard flesh, eliciting a deep groan, as his hips snapped forward, shoving himself into the hand.

"Oh yeah... that's it, Kuchiki. I got all ya need," he rasped, pumping the cock to full erection. "And ya need it badly, don'tcha? 'S been a long time, huh?"

Byakuya felt Kenpachi's big, hard dick rubbing against him, leaving wet spots of precum on his skin. He'd really need a bath, when this was done! At least his cloths were torn to shreds anyway, so they could not get worse anyway. Moving his hips in time with Kenpachi's hand, he was panting slightly.

"Not as long... as you might... think. I just haven't been on the... receiving-end in a while... In these set-ups... usually I get to do... my wayward... Fuku-taichou... "

Kenpachi chuckled at that.

"Oh yeah, that red-haired slutty wild child, Abarai. Gives totally new meanin' to his title, tha'! Fuck-o-taichou!"

Underlining his joke, he snapped his hips a few times, making Byakuya pant and writhe against the wall. Sure the noble man was too far gone now to give any more trouble, Kenpachi released his wrists. He cupped the other man's chin, bringing his face around for another searing kiss, while his hand still stroked the hot flesh, though slower now. When the kiss ended, three fingers were presented to Byakuya.

"Ya know how it works, Kuchiki. Make 'em all slick."

Sighing slightly, the noble man got to work. Sucking all three digits between his sinful lips, he was twirling his tongue around them, sucking them with the skill of a Rukongan whore. He felt quite smugly satisfied, when he heard Kenpachi groaning and swearing, feeling him quiver in anticipation. Only a moment later though, it was himself, shivering and mewling like a cat in heat, when the slick, wet fingers opened him with practiced ease.

"Shit!" Kenpachi panted. "Ya really are a damn tight-ass!"

Byakuya was trying to claw through the corridor wall, as the third finger pushed into him. He just knew his ancestor's spirits were having a fit right now, but he also couldn't care less at the moment. Somewhere buried deep within, there was still the hot tempered boy of his youth, and it shone through now.

"Stop shitting around, Kenpachi, I'm prepped! Fuck me already!"

How could anyone say no to as nice an invitation as that? Kenpachi at least couldn't. Replacing his fingers with his big, hot, aching cock, he plunged into Byakuya in one, forceful stroke. They were both crying out. Kenpachi because of the hot tightness engulfing and almost strangling him, Byakuya because he felt like bursting, so filled he was. Panting, they both kept still for a moment, both getting used to each other.

"Man, this's even hotter than I ever imagined," Kenpachi rasped, slowly starting to move his hips.

The smaller man was quite eager, rotating his ass for even more friction. His panting moans soon were answered by hard, fast thrusts. Kenpachi was rubbing and twirling his nipples again as he plunged into him repeatedly. Byakuya was uttering the most delicious moans and cries the fight-loving man had ever heard. When his hard-muscled ass was gripped by the noble man, urging him on, he gave a deep growl. Biting Byakuya in the neck, he slammed into him, with the force and speed usually reserved only for his fights. His flaring Reiatsu made the bells on his hair chime in time to his movements.

The ecstatic cries of the noble man reached a pitch. That only meant one thing. Once more, Kenpachi wrapped his hand around Byakuya's cock. Only a few, hard strokes were needed. Shouting out unexpected obscenities, he came copiously over Kenpachi's hand, the wall of the void, and his trailing, precious heirloom shawl. His twitching inner muscles sent the bigger man over the edge too, spilling his seed deep inside Byakuya's tightness.

When the last waves of ecstasy had died away, Kenpachi stepped away. The noble man turned around. He really was a sight to behold. His usually impeccable appearance all disheveled, hair in disarray, cloths all torn and hanging in shreds. Actually Kenpachi really liked that look. The annoyed set to Byakuya's brows though, spoke volumes as to how much _he_ appreciated it himself.

"You ruined my shawl!" He accused the bigger man.

Kenpachi was barking with laughter. He didn't care that he was stark naked, sweating like a pig and a bit sticky, too. It had definitely been worth it to him. That Byakuya should feel differently about it was a bit of a shame, though. Still, he found it quite funny, and couldn't help teasing the man.

"I'd say ya did that all by ya-self!"

Right at that moment, their subordinates on the other side of the Senkaimon decided to stage their little rebellion, unwilling to return to Soul Society, and leaving Ichigo to go and rescue Inoue Orihime all by himself.

"That is just perfect," Byakuya grumbled annoyed, looking down his own body. "We can't go out there looking like _this_!"

Judging by the bright grin Kenpachi displayed, the barbaric ape did not share that sentiment. He did not care for his nakedness, as he didn't feel his sinewy, muscled body was anything to hide. He knew only too well, he would be even scarier this way.

But actually the author of this story really wasn't quite the evil, devious tyrant Kuchiki Byakuya made her out to be. With a snap and a flash, Kenpachi was fully clothed again, and his own torn uniform repaired. His disheveled hair was all perfectly silky and smooth again. Just as Byakuya was about to grudgingly thank the author for small favors, he discovered the one thing she had not restored to its previous, impeccable state.

When the Senkaimon opened for their impeccably timed, awesome, fear-inspiring entrance, Kuchiki Byakuya's bad mood was even more smothering and fear-inducing, than Zaraki Kenpachi's Reaitsu was whenever he took off his eye-patch. A few tiny white spots would forever stay as dead giveaways and souvenirs of a very special stay in the corridor between the worlds.

Perhaps this author really is an evil, devious tyrant after all...


End file.
